How To Find Out If Someone Is Gambling Online
Gambling addiction or gambling disorder is defined as persistent and recurring problematic gambling behavior that causes distress and impairs your overall livelihood. Gambling addiction affects roughly 0.2% to 0.3% of the general U.S. Population, and tends to affects males more than females, though this gender gap has narrowed in recent years. The following signs may indicate that someone is experiencing difficulties with gambling: Spending more money and time on gambling than you can afford. Finding it hard to manage or stop your gambling. Having arguments with family or friends about money and gambling. While the same criteria applies for diagnosing gambling online and traditional gambling, the ease and convenience of internet gambling greatly increases the potential for addiction. Friends and family are likely to notice when someone’s been missing for days on end at a casino. 5 tips for finding anything, about anyone, online. How to hunt down people - even if they don't want to be found.
- How To Find Out If Someone Is Gambling online, free
- How To Find Out If Someone Is Gambling Online Poker
- How To Find Out If Someone Is Gambling Online For Real
- How To Find Out If Someone Is Gambling Online Real Money
By Sydney Smith LPC, LADC, NCGC-II
A gambling problem can be difficult to detect
Problem Gambling can be hidden for a long time which often makes it very difficult to detect. By the time the problem surfaces and the family finds out, the devastation and wreckage can be tremendous. Family members tend to know that something is wrong with their loved one but due to gambling addiction’s invisible nature, especially in the early stages of the disease, it can be extremely hard to identify.
In this article, we will discuss the signs and symptoms of, and ways to identify if your loved one has a gambling problem. Then, we’ll invite your questions about how to get help at the end.
Determining if there is a gambling problem
As a family member, we may or may not know the extent of the gambling problem or how long gambling has been an issue for our loved one. We may know about the gambling, but still have much uncertainty as to whether there is a gambling problem. So if you are asking yourself,
“How do I know if my loved one is a problem gambler?”
…the following are questions and information that may help determine if there is a gambling problem.
SIGN 1: Time away. If I know the person is gambling, the amount of time spent gambling or engaged in gambling activities increases. The gambler can be gone for long unaccounted for periods of time.
When the gambler in my life gambled, he often gambled while he was at work. So, in the early stages I did not know how much time he actually spent gambling. As his gambling worsened, he would not come home from work and would disappear for 24 hours at a time.
SIGN 2: Obsession to find money. Is the gambler becoming preoccupied or obsessed with obtaining money to gamble or thoughts of gambling? The great obsession can be on coming up with ways to borrow money, taking out loans, pawning items for cash, or planning their next bet.
Living with a gambler in the past, I would frequently have jewelry missing or items of value just disappear. Later I would learn that my gambler would pawn these items to obtain gambling money or to chase his losses. Later in the progression of the disease, the gambler may be physically present but not there, as the mind is preoccupied with gambling.
SIGN 3: Emotional volatility. Does the gambler have moods swings or gambles as a means to cope or change feelings? A gambler deep into his addiction can exhibit mood swings similar to those of a person diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. The extreme up and down in moods can be hard on both the gambler and the family members. The “up” moods can follow a win, and the gambler may even brag about the winnings. The “down” mood can be very depressive and the gambler may experience anxious or depressed mood, anger, and become irritable.
Gambling is used to change the way the person is feeling and the family members may hear the gambler make statements such as, “I had a stressful day at work and I just need to go gamble to unwind”.
SIGN 4: New secrets. Are there secretive behaviors or hiding? Is the gambler becoming very secretive in his actions and with his money? Hiding of gambling wins or losses, hiding lottery tickets, tax documents, etc. becomes common.
In my therapy practice, I often hear the spouses say, “I found payday loan papers, or while cleaning, I found ATM receipts from the casino.”. The family may begin to lose trust for the gambler as the hiding, concealing, and lying about gambling grows.
20 questions to ask yourself
These are a few of the more noticeable warning signs one may experience with the gambler. In addition, Gam-Anon created a simple list of 20 questions for family members to ask themselves.
Family members of problem gamblers will answer “YES” to at least seven of the twenty questions.
- Do you find yourself constantly bothered by bill collectors?
- Is the person in question often away from home for long unexplained periods of time?
- Does this person ever lose time from work due to gambling?
- Do you feel that this person cannot be trusted with money?
- Does this person promise that he or she will stop gambling, yet gambles again and again?
- Does this person ever gamble longer than he or she intended?
- Does this person immediately return to gambling to try to recover losses or to win more?
- Does this person ever gamble to get money to solve financial difficulties?
- Does this person borrow money to gamble with or to pay gambling debts?
- Has this person’s reputation ever suffered due to gambling?
- Have you come to the point of hiding money needed for living expenses?
- Do you search this person’s clothing, go through his or her wallet, or check on his or her activities?
- Do you hide his or her money?
- Have you noticed personality changes in him or her?
- Does this person consistently lie to cover up or deny his or her gambling activities?
- Does this person use guilt induction as a method of shifting responsibility for his or her gambling onto you?
- Do you attempt to anticipate this person’s moods to try to control his or her life?
- Does this person ever suffer from remorse or depression due to gambling sometimes to the point of self-destruction?
- Have you ever threatened to break up the family because of the gambling?
- Do you feel that your life together is a nightmare?
What can you do next?
This list can be found on the Gam-Anon website or in Gam-Anon published literature. If you can identify with any of the information listed above:
- Continue to educate yourself about gambling addiction through resources and literature.
- Reach out to a trained professional.
- Attend a Gam-Anon or any 12-step support meeting for friends and family of addicts.
If we believe our loved one has a gambling addiction, it is OK to encourage them to seek help, however, it is vitally important for us as family members to seek out our own help. We are not alone, there is hope, and life can get better.
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About the Author: Sydney Smith, CEO of RISE Center For Recovery in Las Vegas, Nevada, is a psychotherapist and Internationally Certified Gambling Counselor, currently active in her practice which has a specialty focus on the treatment of problem gamblers and their family members. She also works as a researcher with the Desert Research Institute in Las Vegas, NV. She was the 2016 recipient of the Shannon L. Bybee Award.
The word addiction comes from a Latin term meaning “bound to” or “enslaved by.” And anyone who has suffered/suffers from an addiction—or has tried to help someone with an addiction—can attest to the powerful, prolonged grip it exerts; the personal, professional and other damage it causes; and the challenges to quitting.
This is especially true of online gambling, which is diagnosed according to the same criteria as “traditional” in-person gambling. Features such as 24/7 availability, however that make it potentially more addictive and harder to recover from than gambling at a casino or other physical location. The internet also has made gambling accessible to minors who typically would be identified as under age at a physical betting establishment. Consequently, it has spawned a new generation of problem gamblers: teens and young adults, particularly young men.
Definition and Risks of Gambling Addiction
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), the American Psychiatric Association’s classification for psychiatric disorders, a person can be diagnosed as having a gambling addiction (the clinical term is “pathological gambling”) when at least 4 of the following are present:
- Preoccupation with gambling (such as reliving past gambling experiences, planning one’s next gambling session, or devising ways of getting the necessary money to gamble)
- A need to spend greater amounts of money in order to achieve the desired level of excitement
- Multiple unsuccessful attempts to reduce or stop gambling
- Irritability and restlessness when trying to reduce or quit gambling habits
- Gambling as a way of avoiding problems or temporarily improving one’s mood
- Returning to gambling after losses as a way of earning back lost money (referred to as “chasing losses”)
- Lying to family members, friends, employers and others in an attempt to cover up time spent or money lost while gambling
- Significant relationship, job and/or academic difficulties
- Relying on others for money in order to get out of a desperate financial situation caused by gambling
Like people suffering from alcohol or drug addiction, compulsive gamblers are at high risk for serious social, work-related, financial, emotional and even legal and physical problems. Compulsive gambling has been linked to a range of mental health issues (depression, anxiety/panic disorder and personality disorders, for example); poor general health; drug, alcohol, and nicotine dependence; and in extreme cases, suicide.
Gamblers aren’t the only ones hurt by their behavior. Family members often suffer problems such as stress-related physical and mental illness (e.g., headaches, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression), loss of trust, domestic violence, severe financial hardship, and breakdown of the family structure. Children with parents who have gambling problems are up to 10 times more likely to develop gambling problems themselves than children whose parents aren’t gamblers.
How Online Gambling Aggravates Addiction
There are characteristics of internet gambling that make it potentially more dangerous than betting at a physical location:
- Online gambling sites are accessible 24/7 from anywhere there’s an internet connection. It takes more effort to get to a casino and other “brick and mortar” venues, and some of them don’t operate around the clock.
- If a problem gambler spends several days in a row at a casino or racetrack, his/her absence is likely to be noticed. Online gamblers can play via computer or mobile device at work, home, or anywhere there’s an internet connection at any time of day without being missed or revealing what they’re doing.
- Online gambling at home provides greater convenience, anonymity and comfort than playing in a casino. In private, it’s easy for players to place bets after heavy consumption of drugs or alcohol, which can increase the amount of time spent gambling and money wagered.
It’s easy for people to access their bank account online, whereas at a physical location, it takes more effort such as withdrawing money from a bank machine. This increases the likelihood of impulse betting and “chasing losses.” - On the internet it’s easy to forget that electronic money is still real money. Gamblers may be able to use a credit card to deposit funds they can’t necessarily pay back into an online account that they can access as other resources dry up.
- A lot of internet gambling websites are registered in locations where online gambling is legal, but not necessarily well regulated. It can be hard to know who is running them or whether they are legitimate. This makes it hard to take action against them when problems arise.
- It’s easier for traditional betting locations to ban underage or problem gamblers. Online gambling sites may have policies on restricting access, but their ability to enforce them is unclear. Thus, the only real limit is an individual’s self-control. For people who are prone to addictive behavior, obsession easily overrides willpower.
- An important part of gambling addiction treatment is having a strategy to avoid play. With online gambling, avoiding this temptation is significantly more difficult.
Tell-Tale Signs of Gambling Addiction
So how can you tell whether you or someone you care about has an online gambling problem? Common signs include:
- Time spent online gambling is out of proportion with other activities.
- Schedules are rearranged to permit more time for online gambling activities.
Size and/or frequency of bets increases. This is often a sign of chasing losing bets and trying to catch up. Unlike addicts, social gamblers can accept their losses and walk away. - Boasting about winning and minimizing losses. Flaunting large amounts of money.
- Going online to gamble when faced with a crisis or a stressful situation.
- Experiencing mood swings—extreme highs when winning and extreme lows when losing.
- Hiding money, unusual and/or unexplained withdrawals from family bank accounts, secret loans and questionable financial deals. When a compulsive online gambler is caught in one of these behaviors, he/she will lie and minimize its importance.
Treatment Options
Addiction is a chronic disease that with time, patience and willpower can be successfully managed. Because denial keeps an addiction going, the first crucial step in recovery is admitting there’s a problem and being receptive to help.
People become compulsive gamblers for a variety of reasons, so each individual requires a specifically tailored recovery program that addresses his/her motives. Appropriate treatment for online gambling addiction is still being researched, but a combination of treatments for traditional gambling addiction and for internet addiction seems to work best. This can include individual and/ or family counseling and participation in a support group such as Gamblers Anonymous. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help compulsive gamblers/internet users understand the thoughts and feelings behind their behavior and develop strategies to avoid and overcome them. In extreme cases, inpatient treatment may be necessary initially as a sort of “detox.”
How To Find Out If Someone Is Gambling online, free
Family, friends, and coworkers adversely affected by the gambler’s behavior can also benefit from treatment—regardless of whether the gambler is in treatment. Those who think they have a gambling problem can call 1-800-GAMBLER to speak confidentially with someone 24/7. Gamblers or family members can visit 800gambler.org for more education and information. This may also include participation in a support group like Gam-Anon; family and individual counseling; education on problem gambling including recovery and relapse triggers; and strategies for coping with anger and loss of trust, keeping healthy boundaries, and ensuring financial protection.
How To Find Out If Someone Is Gambling Online Poker
Recovery and Relapse
Relapse is a common struggle for anyone in recovery, but the problem for online gamblers is compounded by the pervasive need for and use of computers, mobile devices and the internet in today’s world. Even so, as a recovering online gambler addresses the thoughts and feelings behind the compulsion and builds healthier choices and a good support network, resisting urges becomes much easier.
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